KIDNAPPED (PART 2 of 5)

She didn't look like she could kill someone.

Then again, she didn't look like she could kidnap someone either.

He felt dazed and tired, his eyelids felt heavy and his throat felt dry.

It took him sometime to finally be able to open his eyes and another few seconds to adjust to the bright lights. Once he was able to see properly, he found himself staring at a white ceiling decorated with some fancy ceiling lights. The walls were painted in what seemed to be off-white but were decorated with paintings and some more fancy lights, the windows covered with heavy dark curtains. He frowned. This was not his room.

His frown deepened when he heard a somewhat familiar voice but could not remember where he had heard it.

“Oh he is awake!” The same voice spoke, a bit louder this time. “Rise and shine, handsome.”

He turned his head to see the owner of the voice and as soon as his groggy brain registered the face, the events from earlier came crashing in. In an instant, he was wide awake and sitting up on the comfortable bed.

For a second he felt his head spin, but he dared not close his eyes, clearly afraid of what that woman might do to him.

“Here.” He saw her approaching him with a glass of water in her hand. He eyed it warily.

“Come on, handsome. You gotta trust me.” She then proceeded to take a sip from the glass before extending the same towards him once again. “See? Absolutely nothing.”

He didn’t want to. But his throat felt so dry that it was beginning to hurt a little. Tentatively, he took the glass from her and took a sip. What he had decided would be a little sip, turned into big gulps as soon as the cool water hit his throat, soothing the little burning sensation at the back of his throat.

A chuckle was heard and he opened his eyes, which he had unintentionally closed while drinking the glass of water, and looked up to see the woman.

She was no more dressed in those badass looking denims and flannel but was wrapped in a rather fluffy light green bathrobe that reached her knees. Her slightly wet hair was down and her highlights looked darker.

He kept his eyes on her. So, he was a little startled when he felt someone take the glass away from his grasp. Looking to his side, he saw one of the bodyguards standing there holding a tray while another filled the now empty glass with water. Both the tray and the glass were placed on a bed table that was then placed right in front of him on the bed.

“I was not sure what you would like and also didn’t think you would want to have anything heavy before the performance so I had them make some vegetable soup. At least, it’s healthy.” She shrugged. “If you prefer something else, you can always tell them.”

“What performance?” He was confused. He was tempted to devour the soup. Not that he loved soup. But he had had a light lunch before the shoot, which had lasted for more than 3 hours and did not get any chance to have anything else in between except for some juice. He was famished to say the least. So the soup did look tempting. But before he attacked it, he wanted to know what she meant by performance. And more importantly, who was she and why was he kidnapped.

“Oops! My bad.” She gave a sheepish smile. “Don’t worry, though. I will explain while you enjoy your soup. You were out for more than an hour and I don’t think you should keep your growling stomach waiting for much longer.” As if on cue, my stomach let out an embarrassingly loud growl. She smiled. “Told ya.”

Not wanting to embarrass myself any further I spooned a small amount of the soup and tasted it. It tasted like heaven.

“Tasty right? My cook has magical skills, I tell you.” She grinned. The woman looked innocent, completely harmless with that smile of hers. It didn’t look like she wanted to harm him. So what did she want from him? He was growing more and more curious.

“So, you can hate me all you want but you gotta do me this favour, yeah?” She began. “And it’s not really my fault, you know.” She sat on a single seater armchair that was placed in front of the bed. “I did call your manager to book an appointment like a month ago. But she insisted that you were not available. Something about tight schedules and shoots and stuff. So I had to do this.” She shrugged again. 

“I still don’t get it.” He said. He was halfway through his soup and was thinking back to the past couple of months. Sure he had shoots. That’s what he did for a living, being a model. He was also recently launched as the face of an upcoming TV drama series. But the shooting had not started yet and was not scheduled for another month or so due to the pandemic situation. So he was trying to understand why his manager would turn down a booking.

“My best friend is a huge fan of yours. Like from the very beginning when you started your modelling career. And she is getting married next week. So I wanted to surprise her by booking you to perform at her Bachelorette Party. I tried to explain the same to your manager too. I even said that I would throw the party whenever you would be free and even double the amount. But she was being damn adamant and refused to listen to anything.”

As her words sank in, he finally understood why his manager had refused. He had received similar offers during the beginning of his career as a model from big names in the industry for private parties but had turned down each offer. And strictly told his manager to do the same if and when such offers came. And he had his reasons.

As stupid as it may sound, he absolutely did not want to end up brutally assaulted, physically or sexually or both in one of those private parties. He had seen enough crime shows to know what could happen in these kinds of notorious parties. Yes, he was a scaredy cat. Sue him.

“You ok there?” Her voice shook him out of his thoughts and brought him back to the present.

“Ye-yeah.” His voice broke. He saw her looking at him strangely and he could not decipher the look. But he was not curious anymore.

“What if I don’t want to? You do realise you have kidnapped me, right?” He asked, unsure where he got the courage from.

She tsked. “And I can kill you just as easily.” Her eyes held the same spark from before but other than that her face remained serious. “It took me around two weeks to find some juicy stuffs on these boys and another week to blackmail them to help me with this. And yet another couple of days to plan everything out in detail. Not to forget to get all the information about your whereabouts. And also preparing for the party. See all the hassle I had to go through. And you are here already, aren’t you? Might as well do it, yeah?”

A lump had formed in his throat. The soup was nearly all gone. He gulped down the entire content of the glass to get rid of the lump.

“What do I have to do?” He asked, not seeing any other way out.

“Well, you have around two hours to think about what you want to do. I mean, initially I had thought you could either sing if you wanted or dance or just sit there and look handsome. But I happened to watch a particular program and I could see that you are a really good dancer. Seeing that it was on national TV, I am sure the girls are aware of it too and would definitely not let you off the hook easily so you gotta perform something. The boys would be with you at all times, no matter what. You can eat and drink whatever you want, except alcohol. That’s only reserved for the bride-to-be and friends. You can finalise the songs to dance to and choose whatever you want to wear from this closet.” She pointed towards one side of the room that had a double door. “Don’t think about trying to run away because you will get caught. This whole bungalow is surrounded by guards. Though they have specific instructions of not hurting you, I can’t guarantee the dogs won’t tear off your limbs if they see you running.”

“Do-dogs!” His eyes widened. His little scaredy cat mind raising its timid head.

“Yeah. My babies. They are so cute. See.” She unlocked her phone and showed him some pictures of huge hounds. While most of them were singles of only one dog or a dog with the woman standing or sitting beside the beast, one particular picture seemed like a group photo with the woman in the middle, surrounded by around 10 or 12 huge dogs.

How could she call them cute?! And click pictures!! 

But seeing her phone, reminded him of something. He started searching for his phone. “Where’s my phone?” He asked, not finding it on his person.

“Oh, here.” She threw it towards him. What landed in front of him was not his phone but the remains of what used to be his phone, dismantled and broken to pieces. “By the way, I texted your manager letting her know that you met one of your friends and are going to be spending your night at his place, catching up and stuff, before putting a hammer through that thing.” She winked at him as she stood up from the armchair and walked towards the door. “Let them know if you need anything at all, yeah? See you later, handsome. Ciao!”

As she had said, two guards stayed back in the room with him.

He let out a sigh.

**********

KIDNAPPED (PART 1 of 5)

She didn't look like she could kill someone.

Then again, she didn't look like she could kidnap someone either.

He let out a sigh of relief when the photographer gave a satisfied nod and smiled.

"They turned out to be really good. Good job, everyone! Let's pack up!"

"Thank you." He returned the smile and went back to the green room to get the designer clothes off and change into his comfortable clothes a.k.a. faded denims and a simple white t-shirt.

He was tying the laces of his converse when a tap was heard on the door of the green room.

"Yeah?" He called out.

"Are you done?" He heard his manager's voice.

"Yes, almost. You can just wait in the car. I will be down in a minute." He wanted to go to the washroom once before leaving. The traffic would be heavy at this time of the day, adding more minutes if not an hour, to the already two and a half hours drive to his apartment.

He got an 'O.K.' in reply as the sound of heels clicking on the tiled floor reached his ears.

Collecting his belongings, his phone, wallet, his sunglasses which will not be needed anymore considering the sun has already advanced on its westward journey and was nearing the horizon, and his mask.

God did he hate that contraption! He knew it was necessary at this trying times but he often felt suffocated in those and chose to put them on only when in public places or surrounded by people. He had to go without one for the shoot and stayed without it while changing as no one else was there except him in the greenroom. But he would have to put it on while going out and heading towards the washroom as he was sure a whole lot of people would be loitering in the hall and corridor, packing up their equipments and stuff.

Entering the washroom, he looked around once and released a sigh of relief when he found that he was the only one in there and took his mask off. Given the pandemic situation, not many people were allowed in the shoot locations so this was not really a surprise.

Relieving himself, he stood in front of one of the sinks to wash his hands when he heard the door to the washroom opening and closing. Looking up in the mirror, he saw two buffed up figures dressed in black shirts and blue denims making their way towards the urinals. They looked like bodyguards. He shrugged internally. Some other celebrity must have come to visit the Ad agency.

However, when he looked up in the mirror once again, to check his appearance once before exiting the washroom and heading down to his car where his manager and driver were waiting for him along with one of his own bodyguards, he found the two supposedly bodyguards standing a few steps behind him on his either sides. At this, he frowned.

“Can I help you with something?” He asked, confused.

“Yes, you can.” A female voice was heard. His eyes widened when one of the stall doors opened and a young woman walked out of it, probably in her mid-20s. She was dressed in light blue high waisted distressed denims, black leather boots, unbuttoned dark green and navy blue chequered flannel shirt underneath which she wore what looked like a black bralette. Her wavy hair was down and he could clearly see the natural black interspersed with occasional streaks of highlights running down from roots to tips. There didn’t seem to be any makeup on her light caramel skin but he could not be sure. She did not have any mask on, unlike the men who wore black masks that covered the lower half of their faces.

“Can you turn around, please? I like to look my prey in the eyes.” She said. It was then that he realised he had frozen at his spot, still facing the mirror and had been looking at the reflection of the woman.

That realisation soon lost it’s importance as her words sank in and he turned around in shock. “Wha-what do you mean by your prey?”

The woman ignored his question and walked forward from where she had been standing in front of the stall she had exited and stood in front of him. “Better, don’t you think? Now I have a very very very important question for you.”

Standing this close, he could now clearly see her dark brown eyes sparkling in the bright lights.

“Do you have any other appointments or engagements tonight?” She looked serious. Like ‘life and death situation’ serious. And he found himself shaking his head in negation.

The change was instant. Her lips parted in a brilliantly bright smile as she clapped her hands once and loudly exclaimed “Great!”

“Can I please see your phone?” Her eyes looked so innocent. Her face reminded him of his niece who would look at him with the same expression whenever she wanted anything from him.

But he was not a fool. He knew how dangerous a situation this could be. He tried to take an account of his surroundings. He was very much aware of the two muscle men still standing on his either side. The young woman was right in front of him. Would he be able to push past her and run towards the door to the washroom? The chances were really slim. He was not sure but the men and even the woman could be armed and things could go downhill in the blink of an eye. Would it be worth the risk? He didn’t even know what these people wanted. They had plenty of time to harm him if they wanted. And who would wait so long and ask if he was free this evening before kidnapping him?

Nonetheless, he was wary as his eyes scanned the washroom once more. His breath hitched when he could make out a third figure near the door, dressed similarly as the two men beside him.

“You don’t have to give it to me. You can just keep it in your hand while I see what brand and model it is. You can do that, can’t you?” The woman pleaded, her eyes taking on a puppy look.

“Ye-yeah, I guess.” He stuttered, still not liking the situation he was in but not knowing what else he could do, he took out his phone from his pocket and held it up for her to see.

The innocent look was soon replaced with a smirk. “Fingerprint lock, I see. Boys.” Her voice held a command as she spoke the last word.

The next second, he felt something being pressed to his nose and mouth and he was slowly being pulled into unconsciousness. The last thing he heard was the woman’s far away yet somehow soothing voice saying, “Let’s get going then.”

**********

Together

Being together with each other, is a warm and comfortable feeling, that they will never get tired of.

So warm. So comfy.

When was the last time I felt this kind of warmth?

Letting out a soft sigh, I turned around. Eyes still closed and still wrapped in the comfortable

warmth, I found myself slowly drifting off.

That is until…

What is that heavy thing around my waist?

Slightly opening one eye, I peeked down. Once the blurriness faded away, I could make out what looked like a tanned, muscular and veiny arm.

Oh.

I closed my eye once again.

A moment passed.

Then my eyes shot open.

What the….

Still focusing on the arm, I slowly became aware of the sensation of warm and soft breaths meeting the skin of my forehead. Eyes widening even more, sleep completely forgotten, I raised my head, my eyes letting go of the arm to come and rest on a rather wide column of the same tanned skin peeking from underneath a grey t-shirt.

I immediately backed away, using too much force and not expecting the arm to easily let go. And found myself on the floor beside the bed. I blinked before the slight ache from the fall registered and finally let out a groan.

Slowly, I stood up on my feet and… paused. I was dressed in my regular nightwear. A pair of red shorts and a black tank top. There was no unexplainable soreness anywhere in my body. My eyes then roamed around the room and I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the familiar walls, the curtains hanging on the windows, the furniture and the paintings on the walls. This was my room. Phew!

Not feeling very brave to see the face of whoever that was on my bed, I focused on the rest of it. The muscular figure on the bed was completely dressed in a grey t-shirt and black shorts too. Tanned arms and legs, one arm marred with black ink at one portion.

Ooooooh. Tattooooooo.

Wait!

With silent steps, I made my way out of the room, being careful not to make any noise that could wake that hunk on my bed. 

Once I closed the bedroom door behind me, I rushed towards the common bathroom.

Standing in front of the mirror, I focused my attention on my lips. Not red and swollen. Good.

Next, I thoroughly checked my neck. No bruises or blotches or redness. In other words, no hickeys. Very good.

Feeling more confused than ever, I slowly exited the bathroom and entered the kitchen of my rented one BHK apartment. All the while cross-checking everything in my mind.

My name, my parents’ name, my hometown, my schools and college, my profession, my friends. Everything seemed to be alright. Every memory, intact.

That means no amnesia, right? Right.

Then who on Earth is that guy on my bed? How did he even get here? Why was I sleeping in his arms?

Confused beyond comprehension, I ran my fingers through my messy bed hair.

I slumped in one of the chairs in the kitchen, still lost in thoughts.

How was it possible that there was a man on my bed and I was sleeping in the arms of the said man yet could not remember when or how we got there?

What in the he-

The speaker was interrupted by a sudden fit of giggles.

“What’s wrong?” The speaker asked, one dark and bushy eyebrow raised in question.

“That is not how it happened.” A childish voice clarified, the owner finally managing to stifle the giggles.

“It is my story and I am allowed to make as many changes as I want. You are not allowed to interrupt.” Saying so, the elder started tickling the 10 year old girl, who was laying on the bed and had burst out laughing and giggling and trying hard to escape the teasing fingers of the elder.

“What’s going on here?” Came a new, rather deep and manly voice, from the door of the room where the two were busy.

“Sa-sammyyyyy. Sa-ve m-meeee~” The younger’s high-pitched voice was broken by her own laughter. Which was followed by the chuckles of her attacker.

Tanned and veiny, tatted arms wrapped around the waist of the elder, pulling off the figure away from the tiny girl who was now almost struggling to breathe.

Being pulled back so suddenly, the elder had let out a yelp before coming to rest against a muscular chest.

Turning to face the assaulter, the elder smacked the muscular chest. “You scared me!”

The two were almost the same height, Sameer standing only an inch or two taller.

“It’s past her bedtime.” Sammy a.k.a. Sameer said, his arms still wrapped around the waist of the elder.

“But I was listening to the story of how you guys met.” The youngest whined, rubbing her eyes while sporting a cute pout on her lips. It was clear that she was tired from the busy day they had had. 

Frowning slightly, Sameer focused on his lover in confusion.

“Well I was telling her a new, modified and interesting version.” The figure in his arms explained.

“Oh?” Sameer directed his gaze at the figure, his lover, who had finally managed to escape from his arms. “And what was it?” He asked, crossing his arms over his chest and backing away slightly to lean his back against the wall.

“The one where I was the ‘damsel in distress’ and had woken up one fine morning to find a handsome stranger, with his arms wrapped around my waist, on my bed, with no idea of how we got there!” The elder released a loud gasp to express the thrill, eyes wide and face sporting a comical expression. The entirety of which deflated the next moment when the elder added, “But before I could get to the interesting part, this little she-devil here interrupted me.” And once again attacked the young girl with tickles.

“Noooo. Sto-oop.” The girl broke out in another fit of giggles and struggles.

“Okay. Time to sleep for real now.” Sameer said, coming forward to pull the elder off the bed once again. “It's past 10 and if your mom comes to know that we let you stay up so late, she will whoop both of our butts.”

“Ohkaaay.” Both the parties were heard saying.

Both Sameer and his lover went closer to leave a kiss on the tired girl’s forehead and wish her good night before exiting the room.

“You think her mom would have whooped our asses?” The elder asked, settling on the couch in their living room.

“Of course, she would. I know my sister well enough.” Sameer said from their open kitchen, as he poured red wine into two glasses.

Sameer has been living in Canada for almost 20 years now, previously staying with his uncle in Toronto for his studies and now settled in Vancouver as a Graphic Designer. His sister had been here before, when he was still studying, but this was the first time she had finally managed to come with her husband of 12 years and their daughter. 

“She is not that bad.” The elder said, smiling and grabbing the remote to flip through channels on the TV to find something to watch until they were sleepy enough to go to bed. Though that should not take longer. The five of them, the couple and the small family of three, had gone to the Vancouver Aquarium, with the youngest being the most excited, running and jumping everywhere.

The trio had already had an early dinner, courtesy of the young girl’s routine and her mother’s threat. Sameer had made reservations for the other couple for dinner in Gastown, a romantic getaway of sorts, for the older couple.

“So, a new, modified and interesting version of how we met, huh?” Sameer finally let out the question that’s been on his mind for the last 20 minutes or so, settling himself on the couch and handing one of the glasses to his lover.

“I am happy about how we met and fell in love. But it’s just so boring. We met through our mutual friends back in India, got to know each other, became friends, eventually fell in love and now we are together. No plot twists at all.” The elder said, still flipping through the channels, with a slight pout which Sameer wanted to kiss away. So, he leaned forward and just did that. A small kiss to make the other smile.

“I think it’s interesting enough that we got to date each other and are now together.” Sameer added, his lips curled in a soft smile, as he watched the other return to the previous activity of flipping through the channels. He took the wine glass off the other’s hand and placed both the glasses on the coffee table in front of them. Then taking the freed hand into his and intertwining their fingers, he added, “I mean, what if you didn't like me? Or worse, you could have been straight.”

The sparkling eyes of his lover, the ones that had succeeded in capturing his heart, turned to him and looked into his dark eyes.

“Oh hush. I am sure you already knew I was far from straight. Besides, there was no way I

would have let you go. Where else was I going to find such a handsome man with such sexy

tattoos?” The elder glanced down at the arms of the other briefly, referring to the various inked

designs that had been added over the years they had been together.

“So you are saying you only love my tattoos?” Sameer raised a brow in amusement.

“Umm no.” The elder said and discarded the remote beside him before turning to face Sameer fully. “I love your cooking and how you take care of me and tolerate me and lov-”

His list was interrupted when Sameer once again leaned forward and connected their lips for another short kiss.

“I am glad to know that.” Sameer said, pulling away from the kiss.

“And I am glad that you found me.” His lover of six years, Arjun whispered before smiling brightly.

Life for Arjun had not been easy once he came out to his parents after his graduation, almost a decade ago. They were quick to disown him and he was left alone.

Luckily, a few of his close friends had been there by his side.

Sameer did not like to think of what would have happened if that was not the case and felt only gratitude towards their friends.

Being from a rather supportive family, he did not have to face the same and may not fully comprehend what his lover felt or had to go through. But he understood. And he was determined to give him all the love that he deserved. And some more.

Sameer had initially decided to move back to India after completing his studies. But given how close-minded most people there were, he changed his mind, only occasionally visiting his native country. It was during one of those visits when they met.

Despite the time gap of more than 9 hours, they had stayed in contact, exchanging text almost everyday. Chats that were just friendly conversations of how they spend their days, soon became more personal with topics ranging from their dreams, pasts, coming out stories, stigmas and judgements they had had to face.

With time, Sameer only felt more and more drawn towards the elder. Knowing that the elder was essentially alone with no family to call his own, Sameer had not wasted much time once he had realised his feelings for the elder.

Arjun, on the other hand, had found it very difficult that anyone would want him. Especially after his own parents had refused to acknowledge their only son as their own. He had been pretty close to ending his existence, if he was being honest. And even after so many years, the scars were still healing. So, he really could not decide if Sameer had been serious or was that supposed to be a prank?

The younger knew he had to be patient. And had also anticipated all the reasons the elder might come up with for them not to be together. But Sameer was nothing if not persistent. It took him months before Arjun finally showed signs of giving in. Another couple of months and they were finally together. A long distance relationship, but Sameer was too ecstatic to be bothered by it. 

The next time Sameer came to India, they met as lovers. That was also when Arjun was dragged by Sameer to meet the younger’s parents and sister.

The love and acceptance Arjun received that day was something he had only dreamt of. The younger’s parents had not only been happy to meet Arjun but also showed that they accepted him not only as Sameer’s lover but also his life partner, if and when they would decide to take that step.

After Sameer went back, Arjun was no longer left alone. The younger’s parents made sure to invite Arjun on any and every occasion, sometimes even without any occasion. Sameer’s sister and brother-in-law became Arjun’s part of life too. And who could forget their tiny angel.

However, time passed differently for the lovers. And with time, their longing for each other increased.

On Sameer’s next visit, he popped the question of Arjun moving to Canada with him, with bated breath, fully aware that this will change their relationship forever.

Arjun’s mind was torn in indecision. While one part of him wanted to jump up and throw his arms around the younger’s neck and kiss the living daylights out of him, another part of him felt lost in the millions of ‘what if’s. What if they didn’t really work out? What if Sameer finally realised that he didn’t want the elder as a part of his life? What if he was once again left alone?

Every thought stopped when Sameer held his hand and looked into his eyes, the younger’s eyes filled with love and sincerity when he said he really wanted to make the elder a permanent presence in his life, if the elder would have him.

More than three years have already passed since then, the journey filled with memories of love and laughter, bickering and arguments, cajoling and apologies, each of them holding a special place in their hearts.

And here they were, not as lovers, but as life partners. 

Seeing the bright smile and sparkling eyes, Sameer could not help but lean forward to touch the other’s forehead with his own and whisper a quiet, “Yeah. Me too.” 

NUKE

She was a ticking bomb.

She was the devil incarnate.

She was a nuke.

My Nuke.

*****

When my elder sister was pregnant, I came to a decision. A very harsh one, some might say, but extremely sensible, in my opinion.

I didn't want a kid of my own. Roughly translating, no getting pregnant.

Witnessing my sister’s discomfort was enough for me. Backaches, morning sickness, weird cravings, swollen feet, sleepless nights. The list could go on and on.

I mean, who even eats barbeque chicken pizza with honey?

I was a college student those days. And I stayed at their place for some days to be able to help her since her husband wasn’t always available. Blame his job as a doctor.

Seeing her suffer like that made me realise one thing. No matter what women said about motherhood being the most beautiful thing, they almost always forgot the most important thing. It was the most painful as well.

Not to forget the INJECTIONS!!!!

Nope. Not gonna go there. No way. No how. No… whatever.

A couple more months and I was introduced to a tiny bundle of massive energy. My niece. Aka Nuke.
Among all the babies that were popped out that day in that hospital, she was the loudest!

There was no doubt in my mind about that.

I knew then and there, she was a Nuke. And I did call her Nuke. Only in my mind though. I mean, which loving parent would allow anyone to call their one and only darling princess a Nuke? Definitely not my sister.

Well, she did resemble a time bomb too, ready to go off at any moment. And by go off, I mean, start crying. Any time of the day. Or night.

Sometimes, I wondered if she had some special kind of vendetta against me. I mean, she would be perfectly fine and happy and all smiley and cute. Until she was in my arms. For once she was placed in my arms, it was almost like she aimed at tearing down the place. With her cries alone!

Not to forget the number of times she had soiled my clothes with her puke and umm… other bodily wastes.

That was also when I witnessed my sister’s sleepless nights and sleepy and tired eyes during the day. Not that I was any better. But I could escape. My sister, on the other hand, was stuck with that crying bomb, 24/7.

And that was when I came to my second harsh (sensible) decision. No kids at all. Not even adopted.

Funnily enough, when I had expressed my opinions and decisions out loud to my sister one day, after being hounded by the loud cries of Nuke for hours, all she had to say was ‘a kid is the best thing that can happen to you, Meera’.

Like seriously? After everything she had to and was constantly going through?

Don’t mind me if I sound a bit sceptical but was I really supposed to believe her?
I didn’t think so.

And so, my decision was firmly made. Motherhood was not for me. No way. No how. No… well, whatever.

*****

It was a Saturday night and I was watching some movie on Netflix. Pathetic, I know. In my defence, I was asked out by my friends. I was just too tired to even try to go through the whole process of getting ready to go out, after having spent the day with my niece.

By then, she was not a crying bomb anymore but a real walking, running, talking, and obviously, screaming Nuke. If I did not fear the wrath of my sister, I would have even started calling her that out loud. And boy, did live up to that silent name of hers!

By the time she left that day, my apartment definitely looked like it was struck by one! And my evening was spent cleaning the mess, which included spilled milk, bits and pieces of paper cuttings strewn all over the drawing room and the likes, with silent tears and loud curses making their way past my lips.

What had really broken my heart were the scattered tiny pieces of the beautiful glass showpiece that I had gotten as a gift on my birthday from my colleagues. I could swear it was not even anywhere near where she could have reached but on the top shelf of my bookshelf. But she still managed to get it down from there and leave behind what could only be thrown out into the trash!

That night, I was not ashamed to admit to my best friend over a phone call about how grateful and relieved I was when my sister finally came by to collect her Nu- I mean, Princess. Princess!

Did I mention that my friends absolutely adooooooooooored Nuke? No?

Well, they adored her so much that I would receive a smack on my arm or my head everytime I uttered the word ‘nuke’. Even when I was not referring to Nuke.

I mean, if I had a Rupee every time someone smacked me for saying ‘nuke’, I would have been able to buy the latest Playstation available in the market without any worry of exhausting my savings!

But what piece of advice did my best friend have for me? ‘Why don’t you get a pet?’

Really now? Pets and kids were basically the same. Only in different forms!

That’s right. My opinion on having kids had not changed. At all.

And neither did my sister’s opinion. ‘A kid changes your life for the better, Meera.’ She would say.

I didn’t understand how she could even say that. I mean, she quit her job to be able to stay home to take care of her ‘kid’ because she didn’t want to keep a full time babysitter. And her reason for that was even more ridiculous. ‘I don’t want my baby to grow up in the arms of a stranger. I want to be there for her first fall, first step, first word, first everything.’

What now? Call me dense, but I really didn’t get motherhood.

*****

That morning was different from every other morning of that month. For a change, the sun was not trying to glare its way through the thick curtains. In fact, it appeared to have a rather laid back attitude on that particular day. The reason could have been the pouring rain from the previous night and the remnants of a few white clouds that lingered in the visible portion of the vastness that is the sky.

Or it could just be that the sun wanted to take a break for the moment and was in no rush to become the hot-headed celestial being it usually was. Of course, one could never predict what would happen later in the day. But the chirping of birds that could be heard, some very near, some from far away to be able to locate, somehow gave a very relaxed sensation to the mind.

It was not that early. Already 9 am on a Monday morning. But traffic seemed to have taken a back seat those days. Only a few cars or bikes could be heard occasionally. Nothing surprising really. With the pandemic running havoc all over the world and the country under lockdown with only a number of considerations or free pass, the everyday hustle-bustle of the twenty-first century had taken an unusual break.

Not that it mattered when you were an employee of a multinational company or some other enterprises which could afford work-from-home and not endanger the health of their employees.

So yes, I still had work but I was too lazy to leave my bed and switch on my laptop.

What I didn’t know then was how my life would change after that fateful day.

Maybe I was a heartless person for feeling more dread about the sudden responsibility I found myself being burdened with than feeling grief about the fact that both my sister and brother-in-law had succumbed to the pandemic within the next fortnight.

But the bigger fact that became my reality was the real reason for my dread. For the departed souls had left behind their only daughter. And I was suddenly hit with the twisted reality that my niece, my Nuke, had officially become my headache. And I, her guardian.

Was this what people called twisted fate? Could fate really be this cruel to me? Was I not clear enough with my decision? How could I end up with a barely 5 year old kid in my arms when I didn’t want any kid? And not just any kid but Nuke! My sister’s Princess and my Nuke!!

I remember crying that day. Just not sure what exactly I was crying for.

*****

I remember all my relatives coming up with various ‘reasons’ of how they could not come and help me with my out-of-the-blue orphaned niece.

But there was never any shortage of free advice.

However, the most valuable piece of advice I had gotten in those days of turbulence, was from a very unexpected source.

My Boss.

‘People will always find ways in which you could have done things differently and better. Especially, when she is not your own daughter. But it's not them in your situation and that fact alone, changes everything. Do what you feel is right for your niece and yourself.’ She had said.

And God bless her for that priceless piece of advice that had kept me sane when all I wanted to do was whoop the ass of someone or the other for trying to poke their larger-than-life nose in my affairs!

As far as Nuke was concerned, to say that she was anything but cooperative, would be an understatement. Of the millennium.

She cried and screamed and threw tantrums and refused to eat.

All because she wanted to go to her Mamma and Papa.

I admit I was a tad bit heartless when it came to kids. But I also could not bear her heart-wrenching sobs when all she wanted was to be held close by her mother.

So, I gave her false hope of how her parents were very busy and couldn’t come but would be there with her any day if she promised to be a good girl.

It's not like I could tell her the truth anyway.

*****

Everything changed. Drastically.

Like Hello? I could hardly continue being the lazy and laid back person I was when I had a responsibility as big as my Nuke now.

I had to start eating healthy food and stop surviving just on snacks, fast foods and ready-made foods.
I had to sleep early and totally bypass my usual dose of late night binge-watching whatever drama was available on Netflix and Prime.
I had to stop buying useless stuff online and start buying whatever was deemed necessary for a growing 5 years old.
I had to be careful to not leave my stuff strewn all around the apartment.
In short, I had to change my whole lifestyle.

But I knew I had to do those things to ensure my Nuke was leading a healthy life and learning good habits.

What was funny, was the fact that I still couldn’t bring myself to call her Nuke out loud.

I mean, my sister was no longer there to whoop my ass. But the name still remained silent and only in my mind.

As days passed, things finally started getting better.

She had stopped being too stubborn and stopped throwing too many tantrums.

Honestly, that had scared me at first. I had literally thought that something had happened to her and she had gotten sick somehow.

But my Boss made me realise that changes were bound to happen. Just like my Nuke was bound to realise that her parents were not going to come back. Ever.

What didn’t change was her vendetta against me. I could swear.

I knew she was out to get me right from the day she was born. But by then, she had started to give me almost-heart attacks with her jumping out of places to scare the shit out of me. All because she realised my aversion towards horror movies and my hatred towards jumpscares!

And my doubt that she was a devil herself was proven to be true, too.

Who else smiled like they were watching Tom and Jerry when they were actually watching The Conjuring or The Ring?

She was nothing short of a Devil. Hence, proved.

*****

Days rolled into weeks and then the months passed by to give way to years.

While some days were busy, some were lazy. Some were hectic as heck, while some others were laced with boredom.

My aversion towards having my own kid had long ago thrown the question of marriage out the window and beyond the boundary from where the ball could not be retrieved.

But ‘wise’ people, who had nothing else to do in their lives, made it their mission to remind me every now and then that Nuke needed a ‘father-figure’.

The heck?

Care to ask us what we need in our lives before running your mouth?

And what the hell would she do with a ‘father-figure’ when there was no ‘mother-figure’ to begin with?

Mother-figure? Me? Pfft!

Like hell I would replace my sister! Dimwits.

The relationship I and Nuke shared was totally… different? That's the only word that really fits.

While my sister made sure she was there for her Princess’s first fall, first word, first… many more things, I don't even remember, I made sure she had her first experiences with smoke and alcohol.

I was adamant with my ‘better try it at home than get wasted in an unknown place amongst unknown people’ logic. Sue me.

Our relationship had changed from responsibility-provider dynamic to what I liked to call, ‘friends’.

We would often pour out our frustrations with studies and work over mugs of coffee. Share bits and pieces of our day and what new experiences we had.

We did have arguments and disagreements. But what relationship doesn’t have them?

Life was never supposed to be only roses and lilies or whatever flower one might prefer. And we had our fair share of bumps.

That definitely didn’t make us a mother-daughter duo.

Come on! She was my Nuke and out to get back at me for something I might or might not have done in some previous life!

Besides, I could bet that she had some equally ‘lovely’ name for me in her mind, though the only thing she ever called me was Maasi.

I was still very much convinced of the fact that motherhood was not for me. And no one could tell me otherwise.

*****

Today was my Nuke’s Graduation Ceremony.

And though many of the ‘wise’ and ‘concerned’ people didn’t approve of the fact that she was graduating with a degree in Fashion, I didn’t give a damn as long as my Nuke was able to follow her passion and do what she liked.

My friends demanded that I throw a party on this special occasion. They viewed it more as my achievement rather than my Nuke’s.

And I had denied it at first. But when my friends added Nuke in their team and she made the same demands, who was I to deny it anymore?

The party progressed with food and drinks, with not only my friends but Nuke’s friends joining as well.
Everything was going great.

And then my best friend went forward and made everything awkward with her unnecessary chant of ‘Avni, you got to say something.’

Avni. That’s the name my sister had given her darling Princess.

“Ok. Ok.” She chuckled before standing in the centre of the room.

A name that meant Earth.

“Well, where should I start? Um…”

Maybe my sister was captivated by the brown colour of her irises.

“I don’t really remember much from my childhood days.”

Or maybe she was mesmerised by the smile that seemed to breathe colour into mundane life.

“All I remember are my days with my Maasi.” She smiled as she looked at me.

Maybe my sister had hoped that her darling Princess would grow up to be a down-to-earth person.

“I remember throwing tantrums when things were not to my liking and screaming my head off, almost making her want to dig a hole in the ground and crawl in it or jump from the terrace.” Everyone around the room laughed at that.

Maybe my sister had hoped she would grow to be a humble and polite person.

“I also remember how she would throw tantrums when I would not listen to her.” She chuckled once again, followed by another round of chuckle going around the room.

I wish my sister was here now to see how her Princess had grown to be not only how she had hoped she would be but so much more.

“But the things I remember the most are her crying with me when I hurt myself. Or staying up with me whenever I had to pull an all-nighter for an exam or a project.”

My sister and her husband would have been proud.

“I remember how she had juggled her work and all the responsibilities she had to handle because of me.”

So very proud of the person their Princess had become.

“I remember how she had been strong for me even when it was difficult for her.”

For I was proud.

“I remember how she had been my mother, my father, my friend, my everything, whenever I needed her.” I saw her beautiful brown eyes well up with sparlings tears. Even as my eyes turned blurry.

So very proud of her.

“And I know I could not have asked for a better person to be with when I was growing up.”

So very proud of my Nuke.

“Because she had been with me no matter what the society demanded of her. And showed me that no matter what, I would always have her by my side.”

I felt my cheeks getting wet and my lips quiver, while my smile faltered and hands moved up to cup my mouth.

“I am so happy that I had you with me in every step of my life, Maasi.”

I didn’t realise that she had moved closer until she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me in a hug as if consoling me, just like I used to console her when she used to cry for her parents.

I still think I was correct about motherhood not being my thing.

I mean, I didn’t have that much patience and I was too lazy to be running around a kid 24/7.

But I had to admit that my sister had been correct too.

Having a kid really does change your life for the better.

And I wouldn’t change anything in my life if it meant I could watch my Nuke grow up to be the beautiful person she had become.

Not to forget that she was still, and would always be, my Nuke.